12 октября, 2006
Это было когда-то в 2005 году, когда... that I finally "got it" at a deep enough level and recognized that consciousness gives me the freedom to create my own inner experience at all times, and my inner reality projects outward into the world and then feeds back into my perceptions. From that point onward, I began experiencing an intense feeling of happiness. At first it came in brief bursts lasting up to a few hours. I just began feeling absolutely incredible, without there being any external stimulus to trigger it. But after several months, a feedback loop was eventually created, such that the state of joy locked in permanently and never switched off. That feeling is still with me 24/7.
Joy runs deeper than any normal emotion. It's like a persistent background hum in my consciousness. It's like listening to music in the background while I do other tasks. The music is always playing, but I can choose to focus on it directly and experience it fully, or I can tune it out and do other things. When I first started experiencing this state of joy, I frequently found it overwhelming. I'd be going for my morning run, making dinner, or doing some other everyday task, and out of nowhere I'd feel an intense surge of happiness such that tears would literally stream down my face. It was like someone came up and injected me with something, but of course no drugs were involved.
I still experience negative emotions from time to time, especially frustration, but when I recognize that I'm creating those feelings, I turn my attention back to the joy by asking, "Where is the joy?" And soon the feeling of joy burns off the negative feelings and comes to the forefront. It's like turning up the music volume until it drowns out all other sounds.
Living in this state has had a profound effect on me. I don't need any material possessions or any externally measurable success to be happy. I work from a state of happiness, not for it. I don't feel like I'm extracting joy from experiences. Rather it feels like I'm injecting joy into them. The joy is this outward-flowing, ever-present awareness.
I live from a state of happiness, not for it. I don't feel like I'm extracting joy from experiences. Rather it feels like I'm injecting joy into them.