25 января, 2005

Кто ваши друзья?

О том как ваше окружение влияет на вашу жизнь, и как трудно поменять свою жизнь без одновременного изменения окружения. Люди с которыми вы общаетесь сегодня, определяют ваше будущее завтра. Когда меняются люди, которые окружают вас, меняетесь вы.

Let's explore the role of the people in your life. Are they elevating you to be the best person you can be, or are they holding you back?

When going through major life shifts, like changing careers, I would shift the people with whom I spent the most time. We've all gone through periods where the people in our lives have changed - graduation, moving to a new city, getting a new job, joining a new club, etc. I don't think I need to convince you just how much influence other people can have over your identity. If you've ever experienced a major shift in your people environment, then you know that you change as well.

Think for a moment about the 5-10 people with whom you spend the most time. Even include online communities if you spend a lot of time reading them - which individuals are having the most influence over your thinking right now? Actually write out the list - it should only take a minute. And this includes family members.

Now look at the list. It's been said that this list will give you a glimpse into your future.

Do you want to become more like these people? Yes or no. Is anyone on the list a bad influence that causes you to backslide? Is anyone on the list a shining light that encourages you to reach new heights?

Now have you ever thought about consciously changing this list? Do you realize that you have the ability to populate this list by choice instead of by chance? You're free to say no to having certain people in your life, and you're also free to make the effort to introduce new people you want in your life. Sometimes there are serious consequences, such as with family members and bosses, but it's still a choice.

It can take a lot of courage to tell someone, "I'm sorry, but I can't have you in my life anymore." But even though this might seem like a selfish act at times, it's often the best thing for the other person too. If a relationship is holding you back in some way, understand that it's also hurting the other person.

If I ever feel like I'm stuck in a cage, I know it's time to reach out and make some new connections and/or loosen up some old ones.

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